Letter to my unborn child…

BABYFINALFirst and foremost, Welcome.

Welcome to a crazy, and I mean crazy world. But don’t worry, some how, we all have managed to work our way through it, and you will too. Strange to write a letter like this, all I want to do is apologize for the world that I am bringing you into. But there are so many good things, and I believe fully, that there are. By the time you would have any interest in reading this, or understanding, everything I talk about will seem like it has changed, but actually it is still the same.

For one, you will be brought in to a family full of love, not the hippy grab a tree love, but generations long love, from two continents, and you can’t beat that. You have families’ from both sides of the pond who will bring you in and take care of you, showing you the beauty of both cultures, similar but so damn different. Your mom and I will try to introduce you to the best of both worlds.

The world you are being brought up in will be so different than the one we were brought up in. People will be the same, and cultures will be the same, but so much will be gone. Animals that were plentiful when I was young will no longer exist. Lions, polar bears, elephants, and so many more will just be like the Dodo bird and passenger pigeon were for me, a tangible mystery which with real evidence, but only stuffed animals in museums and films to prove their existence. But they were alive in our time. Your mom and I were lucky enough to see some of these natural wonders, from orangutans to whale sharks. Many of these animals like rhinoceros, red wolves, sun bears, sea lions, walruses, and others will be gone, except perhaps in zoos. Never take for granted what you have around you, and enjoy every minute of it. Protect the environment and love all life.

We have a limited set of resources on the world, and we are really sucking them up. Just like there will be no more milk in the bottle, our planet has only so much it can give. So learn to conserve and look for ways to make things better and more efficient.

Religion, well, for you, its completely your own choice. I believe that it is up to the individual to decide on that. We will not force you nor discourage you when it comes to this. Some things to take in account when you are deciding this is to remember one important thing, that it is People who create religion, and use it to their own means. So take the good, but always remember who is telling you what to believe. Question everything. More wars have been fought over religion than anything else. People use religion to control the masses, but behind every war is a financial reason, a resource that is needed, from oil to food. It has always been that way, so always question.

I am hopeful that society will be color blind when you get older. That there will be no black or white, yellow or green. All people are people, and differences are what make us great.

Speaking of people, and differences, lets talk about sex. Sex, oh here is a doozy that no parent wants to talk about. Here’s my thought on it, there is nothing to be embarrassing about, it is natural. But you should know that everyone has insecurities about it, and you wont know how to do it right the first time. Practice make perfect. Just remember, though sex is pleasurable, the end result is a baby. A baby is for the rest of your life. So are you ready for that. I recommend waiting till your thirties to even worry about it. IF not, then be sensible, and be safe. Besides babies, diseases are real, and its best to protect your self.

In the end, the world will seemed like a really messed up place, and as you get older, it will seem even crazier. It’s hard not to get apathetic to it all. More than likely you will hear some of the same arguments we hear now, gun control, non gun control, global warming, lack of resources, strong military, corporate government greed, among many others.

In the end, its important for you to understand what matters, you need to be your self. You have a strong family to rely on and love. You will most certainly not be like everyone in your family, but you they will be with you thick and thin. Friends are also insanely important, and underrated. I am not talking about folks to grab a drink with or socialize with, but people that you feel a bond as good as family. This takes time, and it is not worth searching for, it will find you. Stay true to yourself, and you will find yourself with a core group that will be there for life. But remember, to keep this unit together means that you have to give as much as you get. Beware of the false prophets who only care about attention or are short sighted, looking for the next best thing.

In conclusion, the most important thing is to be yourself. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Don’t stress the little stuff, life goes on, it always has, and it always will. Everyone goes through awkward stages, it last a few years, which seems like forever at your age, but it is not. In fact, it’s a blink of the eye. But if you love your self, it won’t even matter. Don’t think there is only one for you, the world is too big. Find someone who makes you happy.

Love your father,

Michael Bencik



6 responses to “Letter to my unborn child…

  1. I too like this letter. You have expressed the truth of your own journey so clearly . I personally thank you for sharing it with others. All you can ever do is love your child or children. From the perspective now of a grandmother I can only say I am grateful for the love more than anything else bequeathed to me from generations past. Also I have to say too the gift of faith. But I do agree that it was because It was never forced on me that through my own life of challenge and valleys and high peaks I found the richness of what is now my Truth. You will indeed be an amazing dad because the first step is to love the child’s mother and the second is to love unconditionally the product of that love. Again Thank you.

  2. Michael, congratulations! This is wonderful news and everything is going to be just fine for that baby. You love this planet for very good reasons, so relax. There are scary things, but you’ve found joy and so will that baby – especially since you’re the dad and you will be teaching by example. I can hardly wait to see what kind of gifts your child is going to bring to the world. Hugs to your and your lovely wife. ❤

    • Thanks Crystal. I think you can see how busy I have been by the timing of my response, babies are a lot of work. I am barely blogging now, but I plan on getting back too it very soon. This post was not very popular with my parents or my wife, but I felt I had to say it, and before she was born. Of course I could change my mind on everything, that is why I wanted to get it down before it happened. But I would not publish it till after she was born, so not to jinx anything lol.
      How are you doing? Winter hitting hard over there?

      • Of course you are busy! And you’ll stay busy for some time to come, so be easy on yourself. I think it was a great idea to put down your thoughts before she is born: it will be a revealing post to look back on, for all three of you in the years to come.

        My “little one” is halfway through year one at college and that is a few steps ahead of where you are. A parent told me long ago his opinion was that, as his kids grew older, “they need less and less of my help each year, but what they do need is getting more intense. So there’s an inverse relationship between time needed and resources put into that time.” I find his prediction to be true. Tara’s contacts with me now are on the lines of life philosophies and college tuition and politics, which require so much of my focused attention. But in return, I only hear from Tara about once a week on the phone! 🙂

        Where I live we are protected from the winter cold by Pacific Ocean marine air that filters up the Columbia River Gorge. That means lots of rain, but not much snow. Temperatures are generally in the 40s. Nothing at all like what winter is for you. Be well and be warm.

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