Philadelphia Naked Bike Ride

Warning, Graphic Nudity Below


It’s that time or year again, where Philadelphians all over go mad! The heat is up, crime rate soaring, the city is sweltering, and damn it, it’s just too hot! So why not strip down to your birthday suit, throw on some tribal paint, and hop on your bike and tour around the city. Well, that is exactly what is happening today, for Philly’s sixth annual Philadelphia Naked Bike Ride! You never know where this parade of skin will hit next. You might be having a very yummy Crème Brule at Park on Rittenhouse Park, when 100’s of bikers might pass you buy. Or hey son, is that the Liberty Bell, why, what the heck is that? Oh my God, these people are true Revolutionaries, because they have liberated all their cloths! It’s a skin fest for sure, knocking out that silly free the Nipple Movement that is going on in New York City. Here its not only Free the Nipple, but Free the Penis, Free the Ass Cheeks, Free the Boob, and yes, even Free the Vagina!

I can attest to how surreal this event is. A few years back I went to Rittenhouse Square just to watch all the bikers go by. At first they have the speedsters ride up, blocking off traffic, and maintaining order. Then the parade really begins. There are spectators everywhere, some guys with cameras so big they could spot a sparrow a hundred yards off. Why they thought they needed that much power when the riders are only a few feet from them I have no idea. Like I said earlier, it’s not exactly cold out here, so no worries about shrinkage. Even though it’s a bike event, people actually travel on skateboards, unicycles, and anything their creative minds can come up with. It’s hard to get pass all the skin riding through sections of the city that are more used to business suits and formal wear. Everyone goes wild with paint and make up too. Some people hide their identity, wearing Green Man suites and masks, while others have not a care in the world.

This video doesn’t exist

You might ask why is everyone riding around Naked, and that is a very good question. It’s to bring awareness to numerous things, from bike safety to body image. I personally think it is a great thing. Over the years I have seen many improvements to Philadelphia’s infrastructure as far as biking and biker safety go, and I am all for it. We are quickly becoming one of the more bike friendly cities in the nation, and that is great. Less cars on the road, less congestion, less pollution, and a healthier populace. I am not saying the Philly Naked Bike Race is the only reason, but there have been a ton of improvements since it started. Now if we could only get the Parking Authority to get out of their gas guzzling, pollution spewing, congestion causing, four door sedans and on to bikes as they write out their millions of parking tickets, the city would be a better place. Sorry, small pet peeve.

In University of Michigan they had a Naked Mile race, where everyone is buck naked for a mile long race. I always thought that sounded like fun. I have been wanting to do this myself for years, but not sure I have the Balls to do it! Perhaps next year will be the year!

Check out the website to learn more about the race, and by all means, get out and check it out. You might even decide to strip down and go for a ride too.


Philadelphia Naked Bike Ride

Here is a picture of the route.

Naked Bike Ride Route

One response to “Philadelphia Naked Bike Ride

  1. Great post, Michael! Portland has a naked bike parade too. It is especially fun when you aren’t expecting it. One year my my mother was out with us at a popular food cart stop. We were eating at a picnic table, 10 feet off the road, when suddenly hundreds of naked cyclists came by. Mom – usually very conservative – was so excited to catch some of the craziness of Portland! She forgot all about being judgmental and just enjoyed the celebration.

    I am sure you are right that events like these raise awareness and make a city more inclined to make improvements with bike safety in mind.

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